While helping out at my brother’s store today, one of the girls who works there got an “emergency” phone call from her mother. It seems their dog had gotten a little frisky, introduced himself (*ahem*) to another neighborhood dog, and they somehow got stuck together. So she turns to my brother and asks him how to get them apart. After looking at her like she’d just spit on him, he laughed and said, “How should I know? Dump some ice water on ‘em.”

This raised several points of interest for me…

First of all, I’m glad that when she saw who was in the room with her, she didn’t pick me as the person most likely to know things about dog sex. I’m not sure what it says about my brother, but it’s worth noting here that the ice water idea worked, so he does apparently dabble in the study of canine eroticism.

Second, what would I have said if she had asked me? I know plenty about dogs, but I can’t say that this had ever come up before. For starters, I don’t think they were stuck together; I think they just weren’t finished. And if that was the case, where the hell do you get off dumping ice water on them? Just ain’t right.

So what should you do if this ever happens at your house? I say dim the lights, pop on a Barry White CD, give them a little privacy, and hope for the best.

And lastly, was this honestly the best topic I could come up with tonight?

Well, it was a slow day…

Tags: dogs, dog humor